Pagan Insights Project - In Your Own Words

Well I'm "starting a little late" with this. It was posted on TIP at the beginning of the month. And I'm just now getting around to saying and doing something about it. What a good little pagan I am. But hey. I'm getting around to it. And what I like about the Pagan Insights Project is that it'll give me a bit more of a direction to blog about than my random little musings about this, that, and the other thing. Unless you guys actually like my random musing about this, that, and the other thing. But I still feel like I need something to pull the people in. I don't feel like I'm finding the topics people want to read about. Or even approaching them the right way that its pulling people in. But eventually I want to get around to doing the 30 Days of Paganism prompt. But that might be a bit. When I feel like I've started posting on a more regular basis. Or when I feel like I'm going to have a slow month. Oh hey look! I think that might be December. Or something like that.

But anywho on to the PIP ( >.< ) post!

* In Your Own Words - your thoughts and feelings – maybe a full blog post on a topic of your choice related to your path (or Paganism in general) or just a few sentences on where you are right now. What are you studying? What are you thinking? Who are you, and where are you going on your Pagan path? What’s right and what’s wrong in Paganism at the moment?

 In my own words. There's a number of ways I could take that. To start I'll probably just answer the example questions. In later posts if/when I get back and re-answer these prompts I might do it differently. But for now you're getting this:

I am who I am. Right now my name isn't really of importance. Even in my path. Even though its been almost a year since I started following the Kemetic path I know I'm still young in it. Even though it would be nice to have the gods name me I'm no where near that yet. Some times I wonder if I'll even be. I may be an insecure person and I doubt that I'm getting anywhere but I know that this is what I want. I want to learn from the Kemetic gods. People may look at me and say "But you're only 21. That'll change in a few years." While I hope that I'll be able to continue to grow and change, I hope that this desire doesn't go away. I want something that can actually be stable in my life. So I know that I can try to make better and stabilize the rest of my life. Right now I'm reading Red Land, Black Land by Barbara Mertz for my "Kemetic studies". I'm only a few pages into it but its a bit interesting so far. Interesting in the fact that Mertz's writing is so casual. Kinda like we're sitting down and talking about it. Unlike other books where its "here's the facts" and that's it.

I'd type more but I'm tired. Should have already been in bed. But I wanted to get something posted for this. I might redo the Pagan Insights Project every so often. Just to keep track of how much I've progressed. But we'll just have to see.

O.O Why Haven't I Posted Anything?

Well the answer to that is simple. Haven't felt like it. And right now I have nothing better to do. Ok I actually do. I've actually been picking up my books again. Woot! I started re-reading the first couple pages of Egyptian Mythology: A Guide to the Gods, Goddesses, and Traditions of Ancient Egypt by Geraldine Pinch so I could continue on and hopefully finish this time. Which probably won't happen anytime soon. Reason being: I am Derpy Hooves!

Well as I've mentioned  back in my Oh Lookie Here post, I have no job and that I want to start going back to the library on a weekly basis. Well I was going through the long list of books I have on Egyptian mythology and Kemeticism and stuff like that and decided to check the library's online catalog. Well I started to put books on hold. ^.^; Hey I stopped myself at 2 this time. Unlike last year where I put everything I could on hold and then never got through it all. But I still can't get all the books that other Kemetics have said that are staple reads and I don't know if the only way I'm going to end up getting my hands on them is to have to buy them. Reason being the library I go to already has like a built in inter-library loan system. Isn't it beautiful? I could go to any of those libraries listed and return those books to any other one. But out of 38 libraries I haven't been able to find like a good 3/4 of the books on my to read list. Probably more. I haven't counted. And with me I want to be able to read the book and know I'll like it before I buy it.

So where was I? Oh yeah. Trying to start going to the library and reading more. I also mentioned the job thing. Well after I went through the library catalog, I went over to the library website. I forget why exactly. Oh right. I was looking up the time that my library branch was actually open. I wanted to go yesterday. But when I was looking on Thursday/Friday (I forget which) I found out that they're closed on Sundays from May through September. I was bummed. Why would a library be closed on Sundays during the summer? Why? I just don't get it. But oh well. As I was looking for the times on the site I saw the tab at the bottom for Employment. Randomly clicking on it I saw that they had an opening at one of the branches. My thoughts were "Yay! I want it!" "Which branch do I turn it in to?" "Oh crap I don't have a printer." "I'll take care of it on Sunday since I'm busy Saturday." "Effing a! They're not open on Sundays!! TT.TT Now what?" Well I had gotten the application printed out yesterday. But like I said: I am Derpy Hooves. I left it at my boyfriend's. ^.^; And I'm gonna be heading to the library after my mom comes home from work. And then we're headed up to the lake. Yay lawn bowling!

Starting a little late but I don't think the people up at the lake mind. Lawn bowling actually started in April. But last year they let me start like half way through the season. I enjoy lawn bowling for multiple reasons. How I got started was there were a couple times my mom couldn't go pick up my grandpa for some reason or another and drive him up to the lake for lawn bowling. He's been lawn bowling with that group for years. (Found out he's been doing it for 20+ years. Longer than I've been around.) Then one day they needed an extra person to complete one of the teams. So I got roped into it. I don't mind. I think its fun. And it gives me something to do with my grandpa. I hadn't exactly seen my grandpa as much as I used to since my grandma had gotten diagnosed with cancer how ever many years ago. Then I had just stopped trying all together after she died. I even tried avoiding going to see him when I could. I still try to get out of it when I'd be going to see him on my own. My grandma's death was hard on all of us and I know full well that my coping mechanism is avoidance. I was trying to avoid it in the early stages. I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. But its not like I could do anything to escape it all. We would go bake cookies with her every year around Christmas time. So I think of her when I bake. She taught me and my sister how to knit and crochet. She'd always have a new project she was working on when we would go visit her on the weekends. So naturally I would think of her when I would start crocheting something.

But enough down in the dumps stuff. This post wasn't going to be a downer one. Plus with having to stop and start again because my mom finally came and got me I forgot where I was headed with the rest of this. I was able to pick up the books. I got Red Land, Black Land and Temples, Tombs, & Hieroglyphs both by Barbara Mertz. I might start putting up some book reviews when I finally sit down and actually finish reading a book. Speaking of I want to start reading now so I'll end this here. Senebty.

Rain, Rain, Go Away... Wait What?

So I was totally going to blog about this last night when I was typing up my other blog post. I stayed up long enough that I could have since I went to bed a little before 5. ^.^; But I didn't think about it until I laid down and was like "Well damn... Guess I'll do that when I get up." Well I'm finally getting around to it. I woke up an hour before my Stats final and this that and the other thing. But enough about that. On to what this post is about.

Its just kind of a random thought in my head. So yesterday it was thundering and raining. And it was actually warm enough for me to open my window so I could listen to it. Even though I was still a bit cold it wasn't like "OMG why am I doing this?" But I sat there listening to it and I kept thinking Tefnut's back. I actually laughed a bit when I thought that because a couple months ago I kept wondering since Tefnut is the goddess of moisture if that made Her snow too. Or if because Egypt was warm She would move on for a while and then come back when the weather started becoming warmer again. Now if it is the second one I wouldn't think that it would be because She's completely abandoning us. Just that the weather would turn Her into something that She isn't. Or that there is a different deity that would take over from there and Tefnut willing hands it over because snow is not what She is. I'm curious as to what others think about this. And not just about Tefnut or the Kemetic gods. But others too that would be similar to this.

(P.S. If you were wondering about the title the kids next door were playing outside yesterday and I heard them singing Rain, Rain, Go Away. And I was sitting in my room thinking "No don't go.")

Many Random Things

I've seen the topic of making fun of your religion come up many times. I see nothing wrong with it. As long as its not to the point where its insulting. If it does hit that point then why do you follow that religion? Didn't think to make a blog post about it until I read this. I was doing a quick search to see when there were festivals for Bes and Tefnut. I came across this blog and quickly glanced over it. The person thought it was funny but as I was reading it I found myself thinking "What the hell am I reading? Isn't this supposed to be funny?" If anything it kinda made my head hurt trying to figure out what the hell they were saying. And looking over others they've posted it doesn't get much better. I kinda want that time I spent reading that stuff back.

But for now for the good stuff. The con went well. I got a cute set of kitty ears. I might try to start making my own. But I just have to try to find a better way to make them stay. The one was trying to slide down off my head. But before I can start trying to experiment with that I have to get my Umbreon cosplay, that I didn't finish, done. I might try to make Zorua and/or Zoroark sometime too. But I'm becoming more known as being an Umbreon. >.< My one little buddy wasn't there this year I don't think. I semi-did my Pokemon panel for them.

International Pagan Coming Out Day. First things first. WHY THE HELL DO ALL THESE TYPES OF THINGS HAPPEN ON DAYS I'M STUCK AT HOME?! That was more of my thought when I found out when the Day of Silence was. It was totally on a day I was stuck at home and wouldn't have been talking to anyone anyway. But back to the IPCOD. I like the idea of it but it shouldn't have to be like this. It shouldn't matter what religion someone follows. Says the little Kemetic who's only partially out of the reeds. Few people know. And it depends on the person on if I would tell them or not. I would still hide it from my family. Even though I think my mom has some idea that I don't believe what she believes anymore. She was in my room over the weekend looking for my stash of Duck Tape. Its kinda hard to miss my altar. Though I guess it would kinda matter depending on the religion. Like if it was some religion that would break laws and whatnot. I'm probably not going to really do anything for IPCOD. I see no need really. But I'm not going to stop people from doing stuff if that's their choice. I just hope that they think about the possible repercussions that could happen. Not everyone's going to except people for being Pagan. We all know that. Especially if people are being annoying about it. Eh. Can't really stop people from doing what they want to do anyway.

But either way. I need to try to get my sleep schedule back in line. Even though it'll probably go out of whack again since my last final's tomorrow and I still have no job. Either way bed time. Since its getting close to 4 in the morning.

Serving Ma'at and Other Random Thoughts

"The ethical conceptions of 'truth,' 'order,' and 'cosmic balance' are encompassed in the Egyptian term ma'at, and the personification of those principles is the goddess Ma'at. The goddess represented the divine harmony and balance of the universe, including the unending cycles of the rising and setting sun, the inundation of the Nile River, the resulting fertility of the land, and the enduring office of kingship; she considered to be the force that kept chaos(isfet), the antithesis of order, from overwhelming the world. Hence ma'at was a complex, intertwined, and interdependent sense of ethics that tied personal behavior-such as speaking truthfully, dealing fairly in the market place, and especially sustaining obedience to parents, the king, and his agents-to maintenance of universal order. To transgress one aspect of ma'at threatened to encourage chaos and overwhelm order. To live according to ma'at was also fundamental to personal existence."

Source: The Ancient Gods Speak: A Guide to Egyptian Religion edited by Donald B. Redford

I was thinking over that as I was sitting on campus after I had gotten out of Accounting while I was trying to ignore the mass of emails flying into my inbox about what's going on with Z. Budapest. And it crossed my mind that serving ma'at should be something that people should do whether or not they actually follow the Kemetic gods. Now before you jump me for saying that let me explain. To others serving ma'at would just be living their day to day lives doing good. Like volunteering or even that random act of kindness toward a stranger. For example, today I was helping a friend take the food her club collected in a food drive down to the Second Harvest food bank truck. I don't think any of the people that were helping out serve ma'at. Or most, if not all, of the people that even donated food do either. But does that stop them from doing something that could be considered serving ma'at? No because I think the concept of ma'at is something that is seen in other religions and irreligious morals and ethics but under different names. Or even another one. My mother's Christian. After she picked me up from college and went to go get her phone card we pulled a double drive thru. We went to Burger King to get sandwiches and then over to Wendy's for fries and frosties. While we were standing at the register at Wendy's waiting for someone to take our order we ended up overhearing the two behind us. I'm guessing it was a mother and son. But the son said that he wanted something, I was guessing that he wanted a frosty instead of his drink or something like that but my mom said she didn't hear exactly what it was but we both did catch that she said no because she didn't have the money. As we were standing there I was thinking about turning to them and giving them the coupon I was going to use to get my frosty since that's what I thought I heard them talking about. But after we had gotten our food and before they ordered theirs my mom went up to the women and gave her the couple dollars that was left over from our order. We didn't stick around long enough to find out if the guy did actually get what he wanted. We actually left the women with a confused look on her face. >.<; But its things like this that I see as doing ma'at. I know my mom knows nothing about the concept of ma'at or any of the mythology that goes with it. Does that stop her from doing for others? Nope.

And I lost my train of thought. >.<; Damn emails about Z. Budapest. Can you spell drama? Seriously. If you've written a chant that you didn't want getting changed from Goddess to God then why didn't you do something when it first happened? 30-some-odd years ago(or something like that)? Why all of a sudden start hexing people now over it? And seriously. What's so wrong about a dick? We kinda need that to reproduce. Women can't asexually reproduce last time I checked.

Though it does bring up something I've been pondering the last couple days. In creation how many myths say it was a male deity and how many say its a female one? While creation is something I don't completely dive into and believe one myth over the other its still an interesting thought. All the creation myths I can remember say it was a male deity that created everything. Well ok. I should say there there has to be at least one creation myth out there that it was a female. Because I don't think Dianics acknowledge a god. Though I could be wrong. All I know is that they're goddess worship. Beyond that I know nothing. I might look into years from now as a passing interest. I have no interest in worshiping solely female deities. I love the gods that I've been able to interact with and I want to meet more. Does that make me such a terrible person for wanting to get a long with every human and deity regardless of gender? If anything I've been more like one of the guys. I always got along more guys than girls. It never bothered me. I never really saw a person one way just because of their gender or skin color or even as their orientation. People were people. To me it didn't matter what they looked like. It was all about how they acted. If someone acted like a racist piece of shit then why should I bother with them? But if someone was kind and someone I could relate to easily then great.

I think I went off on a random tangent again. That might get me in trouble one of these days. >.<; Ah well. I think I may end that here for tonight then.

Dua Ma'at!
Senebty

Oh Lookie Here

Oh hey! Look! I'm posting another blog post. And it hasn't been over a month! *throws confetti*

What inspired this blog post was I randomly went onto the TIP tumblr and found a post about the recent news that was posted on The Wild Hunt. Article for those who haven't seen it. While most of the comment that was posted when TIP shared the article was about what Z. Budapest had said about her song I was more excited about the news about the library. Its an interesting idea. And it kinda makes me excited. It makes me want to travel to DC just to see it. Though it does disappoint me that the only copy of the Book of the Dead is the one translated by Budge. But hey, its a new library that ran on volunteer work to get it to where it is now. And should I be surprised that just searching Wicca I get 5 pages? While searching Egyptian and Norse gets me one each and Greek gets me two pages? I wish we had something like that closer to where I live. I'd totally go there when I could. Well depending. I'd actually probably be a bit concerned depending on who ran it. I'm still not completely sure on the Pagan community in my area. Mostly because I haven't really met any. But I'm hoping that I've run into the only bad apples in the area. But I severely doubt that. One can hope right?

Looks like if I was to take the trip out to that library it would take about 7.5-8 hours according to Google Maps to get there from my house depending on traffic. Overnight trip? Do some sight seeing? Probably. But that'd require me to have a job first. ^.^; I'll be getting my sister's car once she leaves for basic training so that'll be one obstacle out of the way that's holding me back right now. Job? Yes please. I miss having a bi-weekly income. Right now its like once a semester. Oh yay.

Speaking of libraries I wanna try to become reacquainted to the one by my house. I miss my weekly trips to the library. Hmm... I wonder if they're hiring. Or if there's a library in the area that is. That's what I wanna do until I can open my own shop. I wanna work at a library or bookstore. Been that way since I was 16. I love books. I love the smell of them. Though I wouldn't try smelling library books. I don't know where they've been. But that's a quirk of mine. When I get a new book I just open it and sniff the pages. I don't care if any of you think I'm weird for doing that. I'm proud that I'm different. The world wouldn't be fun if everyone was the same.

Totally off topic. But Marines. The hell. Why is it every time I take my sister to PT because I wanna borrow her car to get food they ask me multiple times if I want to join? Do I look interested? Ok it is a possibility since I did actually go there with her. But to try to seriously find some reason for me to actually join? What is seriously going through their heads? Like today I ended up dropping my sister off and then leaving so I could go get air in her tire and pick her up a case of water since she was down to her last bottle. I get back and yeah I can see why they would think I was interested. I showed up out of no where on my own and only a few of them had seen me once before. I told them I was there waiting on my sister since I drove her. They got back to what they were doing. I think they had stopped to take a small break since they weren't doing anything when I got there. They did a set of exercises and then they were trying to get me to join them. Then after a couple more sets they tried again. I told them I'm the kinda of person that just wants to bury her nose in books. Which I was actually going to do but there was no room in the office for me to sit and read since they had to move everything so they could do their ab work. The one guy that I'm guessing had already gone through training (that wasn't the Staff Sargent) piped up saying that there were positions that all I could do was read. And that I could read in different languages. I just kinda shrugged it off. Then we had to drive over to the park where they go run. They went on their run and I sat in the car and read. They stood around chatting for a while once they had gotten back. I ended up catching part of their conversation. My sister was complaining a bit on how she was the last female left since the other female had left for basic on Monday. Their response was basically "Well why don't you recruit someone?" They all turned and looked at me. Its like what part of "I will not join the armed forces" doesn't get through their heads?

Now before anyone says anything, its not that I'm against the armed forces. Its that I have a bit of an Imagine mentality and I'm not fit for the armed forces. Physically or mentally. So yeah. That and I'm not going to up and leave my friends. Not again. And long distance relationships? Hell no. I'm not going through that again. Though my ex keeps thinking that I will. >.> That's a rant for a different time.

Other than what ramblings I typed out not sure there's much else. I'll try to get to the PBP posts that I owe. I'm still trying to get the motivation to work on them. Though posting stuff here's a step in the right direction right?

Blog Post of Blogginess

Sorry guys. I know its been like a month and a half, or something like that, since I've posted. I do still keep the Pagan Blog Project in mind but I've still been having next to none motivation. Way back for D I've been wanting to do Djehuty and Duat. For E I want to do Eye and Egyptian Paganism. F was going to be Flooding and Fertility. G was going to be Geb and Geraldine Pinch. But for H I'm still trying to pick out of three different ones. I want try to either Heru, Heka, and/or Het Hert.

Though it might be a sad thing to say that after this I probably won't be posting for a bit either. ^.^; Its that time of year again where me and a group of my friends get little to no sleep as we host Shinboku Con! *cue random anime music* And now I'm getting random flashes of Fallen as I'm trying to get my thoughts back in line.

Right blog stuff. Oh hey I can at least give you guys content rather than me just babble on about how I'm so far behind (which is obvious) and advertise an anime and roleplaying convention. Yay storytime! So I bought this necklace. Beautiful necklace. Its got an obsidian pendant. Then came the "Well who will I offer it to?" When it came down to it I ended up leaving it as an open offering. If I remember right what came out was basically whoever wants it can have it with the thought of one of the deities I've talked to could claim it. Yeah I left myself open on that one. Let's see. I offered it... I think it was last Wednesday. I didn't wear it until Saturday (Thursday I had classes so that was my ibis necklace and Friday I didn't go anywhere. Yay having no car!). Saturday started off normal. And it might have just been normal. I haven't completely looked into if my suspicion is right yet or not. But I noticed that I was a bit more clumsy than I naturally am. I didn't think anything of it until later when I went to grab the necklace hanging from my neck and realized that it was my new one. I started thinking "Does it have something to do with this?" It may have been a bit premature to jump to that but hey. That's how my mind works. Then yesterday I was at my boyfriend's. I forget what was on TV. I wasn't paying attention to it. I was letting my mind wander as I was messing around with the seeds I had gathered from the yard (for no particular reason). Then my mind went back to what had happened the previous day. The major event that my friends thought I ran into the wall and it knocked me down (I turned and walked into a cubicle wall and because I was laughing so hard I sat down). As my mind finished replaying that, one word came to mind. Bes. Now I'm gonna be looking farther into it because all I have is that obsidian is a protective stone and Bes is a protective god and He has a sense of humor. The two I've talked to think it could possibly be Him. But there's only one way to figure it out. Ask. I'm gonna be doing that tonight after I do a bit of reading. After my homework. I'd actually laugh if I'm right. Why? Because I would. Brain's still a bit scattered.

Well I've got a meeting with my group for our class project. I tried to keep it coherent. If it isn't... I blame my lack of sleep! Let's hope that this time I actually start posting again instead of posting once every couple of months.