* In Your Own Words Screw everything! I just feel like I've been wasting my time with everything pagan and spiritual related. What's the point of me wasting my time when I feel like I'm not getting anywhere? I try to do something and it fails or backfires in my face somehow. Its like "Tell me what I should be doing so I'm not just wandering aimlessly!" But then again I either just can't hear or I doubt myself. * Post A Pic
Silent Melody by trichardsen The only thing right now that can still give me some kind of peace of mind. At least that's one thing I haven't lost. Being able to look up at the moon, whether day or night, and it giving me this sense of calm. * Musical Musings
Kinda goes with the rage that's been building from what I touched in the In Your Own Words. But there's been other stuff that it just feels like I was just being used and then tossed aside when they finally got what they really wanted. *Action, Action Well right now two of my friends and I are working on this project. Its the one that I kind of hinted at in my previous blog post. I hope that it'll work out. But I've been doubting how well it will do. * Eureka! If you want something done right, do it yourself.
Yay my forgetful mind right? Well Sept 26th question was for the end of the day. Then I forgot about it. Then I kept forgetting and then I got sick. Still kinda sick but I'm just waiting for my nose to drain. And I've been debating on I I want to take NyQuil tonight or not. Gotta love NyQuil induced nightmares.
But people. I really hate the human race and always have wished I wasn't human. How ignorant people are to even the simplest things is so horrifying. Or how half assed things are done. I find myself thinking "What the hell were you thinking?" way too often.
That phrase "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." comes to mind. But then the issue of "Well how the hell am I supposed to do that?" comes up. I know what I would improve on. But how am I supposed to do everything else that goes with it. I could read everything under the sun. But that doesn't mean shit if I don't know how to put that into practice.
I just hope that I'm not going to be wasting my time and my friends' time as we get this project rolling. I just hope that its not going to back fire on me.
Ok so I'm setting a goal for myself. Yesterday I got this Q&A a Day journal. And because I'm anal about starting in the middle I'm gonna start it here. Each day has a different question. And its a very pretty book. Oh hey. I was able to find it on Amazon. So I'll be posting that stuff here in hopes that when I can finally get back to my Kemetic studies I'll actually post something here.
So today's question: Do you plan, or are you flying by the seat of your pants?
I'm a little bit of both. I make a general plan but then fine details are on the fly. I know it pisses off people that I do that but generally I really don't care.
**This is a draft that I had saved from November 27th, 2012. Thought I'd leave this here for those wondering a bit of what happened between my last post and now. While it doesn't cover everything. It is still something that happened. I'm not going to bother to try to complete it since that'd be changing the mindset of the post. Enjoy**
So I know I've fallen behind. There really is no excuse for it. Semester's almost over (YAY!). Job sucks. Life's been pretty much the same. So to try to get me back into the swing of things I decided its time for another PIP post! *cheers*
* In Your Own Words
I am a slacker. I'm forgetful. I put things off and then I don't think about it until its really too late to do anything or I'm in the middle of something and I don't drop what I'm doing to go do that. But then with me getting sick I'm all "Blarg... Can't do anything now..." I also tend to bury myself in so many different projects. A while ago I planned on making everyone something for Christmas. Now on top of that I want to crochet myself a scoodie. And I want to read. And. And. And. What I really need to do is start really structuring my life. Then my religious studies won't go to the wayside either.
This image. I don't really know if I really can describe what it is about this image. Its just so true. And sometime people seem to forget that. I know I have a hard time sometimes remembering that when I hit rock bottom.
* Musical Musings
There was this one song that I was going to post here. But I can't remember what it was now.
Wow. Last September was the last time I posted? Where the hell did all that time go? At least now I'm back. I'm going to try to start posting here again. If anything, just to keep track of my thoughts and record my progress. To get started again I'm gonna to at least try to post a PIP version every month and after my finals record my thoughts in that 30 Days of Paganism meme thing. I may or may not create a second blog to keep track of my "witchier" type things since that's separate from my Kemetic practice. For now I may just keep it in this one, even its just so there's activity in this blog.
So I've got homework I should be doing. So I'll just leave you with music I found when I was looking for music to use for the Cosplay Contest at Shinboku Con this year.
Sadly I didn't get to use this one during the contest. If I remember right I only got through SS Anne starting from the beginning of the album.
Well eheheheh ^.^;
Yeah I kinda forgot about this for a while. Not just PIP but my blog in general. I forget what all was going on between now and the last time I posted but school started last week. I've been on and off writing letters to my sister. And have been elder sitting couple days a week. I think I would have preferred the job at Michaels. I think it was because I was going back to school that I didn't get that one and they were looking for more full time people. Or that my classes leaked into all the shifts. I knew I should have just made it so I had my classes spread out over the week. But nope. I just had to listen to everyone else and try to compact them all into two days. Tried. One of my classes was only available three days a week. Ok but now that the update's all said and done on to the PIP stuff!
* In Your Own Words
All I have to say is that I feel like I have been slacking. Its like I have some kind of block that's hard to climb over right now. I had started a guild on Gaiaonline back in January with the thought in mind that I can help others learn and use it as kind of that extra driving force to keep me studying. But so was the PBP when I was still doing that. While I lost interest in PBP I still kinda had the guild to help me a bit. But even now I'm kinda only half assing it, it feels. I get through answering half the questions I've gotten and then lose all motivation for it again (sorry guys). I still have sites open for when I finally get the motivation to go back and answer the rest of the questions. And that was before classes started up again. Now that classes started I don't know how I'm going to feel about putting any energy toward anything dealing with my path. There were quite a few things I was going to do for Set and Nebt Het's birthdays and Wep Ronpet but never got around to it. I still want to be useful to Them but I'm at a point where I feel like I slipped into a hole and don't know how to get myself out of it. I used to try to talk to at least Djehuty before going to bed and I haven't done that in so long. So that's kinda where I'm at right now.
* Post A Pic
Well I would if I could. The image that sticks out in my mind right now is one that I've been meaning to draw for a while now but would start, doubt my abilities, and then give up. So I'll just explain the image. :P
The image I want to try to put on paper is me laying in bed with Djehuty leaning over me. I keep getting reminded of the image every time I hear that "Never forget" from Him. I want to try to get it out to show my devotion that while I might not be doing anything productive, in one of my dark places, or something else that it may not seem like I believe in Them, that I do remember that They're still there. Waiting.
* Musical Musings
I'm pretty sure I've said somewhere that I have nothing against Christian music. Either way I've found interviews where Lifehouse won't classify their music as Christian Rock anywho. But right now this song sticks out to me. Its kinda like "Hey dumb ass get your ass in gear if you want to feel this way again."
*Action, Action
Well I finally got around to cleaning up my shrine. I was going to do that for Wep Ronpet. And I moved things around a bit on it too. I'll try to post pictures of it some time.
* Eureka!
Um... Well... I'll have to get back to you guys on this one. As I've said I've hit a block. I haven't really been reading much Pagan wise. Well I should say that I haven't learned anything new from what I've been reading. I've started reading What Thou Wilt by Jon Hanna but haven't gotten that far yet. So hopefully I actually have something next time around for this.
Sorry for not posting in little over a month. I just never really had the motivation to post anything. Well ok I had thought about making a post about Wep Ronpet since it is that time of the year. I had started gathering information for it and then I just lost all motivation. But quick update for those who are wondering, I have a car again! Woot! My sister's plane left at 6pm July 23rd. Mom cried. My sister's boyfriend looked like he wanted to. Some people ask me how I'm doing since she left. All that would go through my mind was "It was like she left even before that." She had basically moved out after she graduated. And with already conflicting schedules before that we wouldn't really see each other much. Doesn't mean I don't miss her. I do miss her. I will admit that I had cried at the airport. But that was only when I gave her a hug right before she boarded her plane. But yeah. We got a letter from her Friday. Mom did a happy dance. Then got all emotional reading it because of some of the things that were said.
I got all my classes scheduled for the fall semester. It tired to get all my classes to be Mondays and Wednesdays so I wouldn't have to worry about missing class for when we fly down to see my sister in October. But my one class was only Mondays, Wednesdays, AND Fridays. I was like "WTF? What is this?" I'm still on the hunt for a job. I didn't really want to have to work at a fast food place. But it seems to be the only places hiring. I'm hoping Michael's or Pat Catan's is hiring. But based on the look I got when I turned in the application at one Pat Catan's they're not hiring and the other Pat Catan's I went to flat out told me they weren't. I have no idea on Michael's because all I got told was "Just apply online." Its like "O...k...?" It doesn't even list if anything's open or not. It just sends you straight to the application. Eh. C'est la vie. Not much I can do about that but hope I find something.
Oh speaking of Wep Ronpet. WHY DID IT HAVE TO SNEAK UP ON ME?! I was all on top of that shit before my sister left. Also tomorrow is Set's birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do. Oh well. I'll figure something out.
Happy Birthday Heru-Ur! And Happy Belated Brithday Asar!
